Better Confidence - The Benefits of Martial Arts

Men are physically stronger than women. Unfortunately, it's a fact and one I've not wanted to admit, until recently when I was forced to. I've always been an advocate of equality, especially between men and women, but in the realm of physical strength, I am unable to make that claim.

The study of martial arts is something that can help empower women against men. I started a form of Kung Fu called Wing Chun in May 2009; the whole principle of the system is that intelligent movement can overcome strength. It takes dedication and practise, because it is about coordinating your body to react in a certain way to threats, but after time, I truly believe that it can give anybody who practises it a greater sense of control and confidence.

Wing Chun

The story goes that Wing Chun was a female nun who helped invent the fighting system for a princess. The princess was supposed to marry a king, but didn't want to, and so proposed that if he could beat her in a fight, he would be able to take her hand in marriage. The nun taught her how to win this fight.

This may be myth or legend or complete poppycock, however the principles of Wing Chun are feminine ones. It is not about opposing force, but redirecting it; not offering resistance but adapting. It is a beautiful and intelligent art that incorporates Taoist principles with basic principles of physics to make an efficient, effective fighting system. If somebody attacks you, Wing Chun teaches you to anticipate it by refining your sensory perceptions; both visually and through touch. It is about training a sensitivity to the movement of others. You will know where your opponent intends to strike and where best to strike them before they get to you. You can redirect the force of an attack easily and in the most efficient way, often by using your opponent's energy against them.

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change." Charles Darwin

Wing Chun is based on some simple principles, such as protecting your centre, keeping a certain angle in the way you hold your arms, taking the shortest route to a strike, adapting to change and flowing like water.

You have to study physical and psychological coordination intricately. I enjoy it for so many reasons, not least because of my personal interest in Taoist thought, but I truly believe it can enrich your life in so many ways. It is a lesson in discovering yourself mentally and physically. Physically, by giving you a much more heightened awareness and respect for your own body as well as a confidence in mastering it and using it to master others, and psychologically by developing your response to situations of high anxiety and stress. Through it, you learn to master your fears.

In short, Wing Chun can give you the confidence to feel like you could win a fight, and sometimes that can mean the difference in whether someone attacks you or not. Sometimes, looking like a victim can turn you into one. My teacher told a story about a time when he was threatened outside a club, by someone who had picked up a weapon, but because he clearly looked like he was assessing how to defend, the attacker backed off. If they think you'll give them too much of a hard time, they might leave you alone. Unless you come across somebody who is properly deranged, most human beings do not like confrontation, especially if the fight is not easily won, otherwise it is contrary to their own survival mechanisms. Intimidating behaviour is often a front, but for those occasions when it isn't, it helps to have practised some intelligent ways of defending yourself.

Kung Fu really changed my life; I discovered that my emotional and psychological wellbeing depends on my physical self. I take much more care of my body - once I got past beginner grades, I really developed a heightened understanding of what it means to look after myself. I stopped smoking, I eat better and I took up running. I'm much more coordinated and at ease in my body. I got a lot of self-esteem from it.

"Kung Fu's principle aim is to give you the tools to defeat the only opponent that can never be run away from".

I'm lucky enough to train at Cambridge Kung Fu, under Sifu Ross Sargent, with an absolutely fantastic group of people. The classes are relaxed, we often meet socially and talk to each other regularly on Facebook. That said, for those that want to undertake the study of kung fu seriously, the teaching and resources are available and Ross is one of the most inspiring people I've ever met. If you are local to Cambridge, I recommend you have a look at http://www.cambridgekungfu.com/ for more information.

Women's Self Defence

I really feel that martial arts or self-defence classes can help improve the confidence and lives of all women (and men) and would advise everyone to take it up, especially if you have ever suffered an abusive relationship or assault. I personally like to train against men, but if you are female and you don't feel comfortable training alongside men, then women-only classes are available. See http://www.brickhandbag.com/ for an example in the East of England.

Feeling Better

To those who haven't ever been sporty or athletic, exercise is the kind of thing you always talk about doing, but never get around to. You know you should do it, but you also know that it's hard work and doesn't feel very nice. It's unpleasant, uncomfortable and increasingly unlikely - you tell yourself that getting fit doesn't matter that much after all, or you'll start another day. Exercise is a drag. Right?

Wrong.

Exercise is one of the easiest things from which you can feel the benefit in every aspect of your life. From just two hours a week, you can improve your confidence, beat stress and improve your overall well being. Whatever your motivation is, whether it's to feel better about your body for how it looks or for how it performs, exercise is the answer. And it's just not as unpleasant as everyone makes out.

My Story

I'd always had a low self-esteem about my body. I hated PE in part because it meant getting changed in front of everybody, but also because as a teenager, I had an addiction to approval and I never got that on the sports field. I was decidedly average at competitive sports and if I didn't win, I wasn't interested. I was never particularly encouraged to be sporty; since I showed an aptitude for academic pursuits, that's where I was nurtured. I rarely exercised and got to the age of 24 before realising what I'd been missing out on.

What got me off my wobbly, untoned ass? Being dumped. My heart was broken and I was feeling very low about myself. I've always been a 'curvy' sort of girl; I liked my food and I never exercised. This meant that underneath the clothes, was a lumpy, bumpy and misshapen monster that I hated to reveal. I'd always had an issue with my genetic misfortune of being given the cellulite of an 80 year old, but what I didn't do is take any personal responsibility for it. I blamed my parents instead of facing the fact that if I worked out, it probably wouldn't be so bad.

So I started jogging. This was 7 weeks ago and I've lost 3 inches around my waist. I don't actually weigh myself since my target has never been to be stick thin. I just wanted to tone up and not feel ashamed of myself. I've gone from someone who couldn't run for 5 minutes, to someone who can now run 5km easily. It's not just about improving my physical image, it's about having the stamina and fitness too. I didn't realise how much my lack of fitness was affecting me; I didn't realise that going for a quick jog every night could cure my self-confidence. Within just a couple of weeks, I truly felt empowered.

Once I got going, I became addicted to it. I've now decided to run a half-marathon in September, so that I have a reason to push myself towards higher levels of stamina. I started off slow, just trying one lap around my local park. I just stuck to what I was comfortable doing; if I needed to walk a bit, I did. Discovering that I actually enjoyed running and wanted to be good at it, I also gave up smoking. I'd been giving up on and off for a while, but always succumbed when I was out drinking and socialising with friends. Ultimately though, I wasn't enjoying smoking much and wanted to give up. Running gave me more reason to look after my body.

Giving up also contributed to this new sense of strength and confidence I'd found. I was no longer ashamed of my body; I was proud of it and I wanted to look after it. My cellulite hasn't gone completely, but it's certainly improved, and I have no doubt that by September there'll be a dramatic difference. People have been telling me I look great. And for once, I really feel it. I've set myself a goal and in the summer I'm going to celebrate achieving it, by taking myself on a beach holiday and wearing my bikini with pride.

(I'm running the Race for Life, which is 5km, as a milestone on my way to the half marathon. If you'd like to sponsor me, please visit my fundraising page...)



The Facts

Exercise releases endorphins, which are happy hormones. Chemical releases are producing mood-enhancing changes in your brain. On the biological level, the exercise is having an effect each time you do it, but on the psychological level, you'll experience the benefits I did; improved self-confidence and a feeling of self-reliance. A feeling of being able to look after yourself. And this new state of mind will affect all other areas of your life in a positive way. Scientific research is starting to show evidence of just that and books such as 'Spark' by John Ratey document the evidence. In fact, I stumbled across an article this morning, once again lauding the benefits of exercise:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/exercise-can-counter-effects-of-age-on-brain-1965613.html

If you feel depressed, taking a pill that alters the chemistry of your brain will, in the short term, make you feel better. But it won't cure the underlying cause of the misery, which lies somewhere in the way you live your life or your circumstances. It is easy to say that if your circumstances are making you miserable, you should just change them. But often, depression makes you feel as if everything is a mess. You have no idea where to start to make things better. You have no idea what to do or where to turn or how to get out of the situation. It's often a very vicious negative cycle that self-perpetuates. Anti-depressants can help people take the first step out of the vicious cycle, but so can exercise. On the back cover of the book 'Spark', there's a quote saying something along the lines of, "if the effects of exercise came in pill form, we'd all be taking it".

As a descendant of the primate, we are essentially animals. Modern life means that we are largely sedentary - most of us spend eight hours of our day sat on our arses in front of computers. This kind of lifestyle is completely unnatural and our bodies have not evolved out of our intrinsic need to move, to run, to climb trees, to hunt and escape predators. Letting our bodies become inert, useless lumps has a dramatic impact on our psychology and this is what I personally discovered when I started exercising. I didn't realise quite how low my self esteem was, until it destroyed my relationship. And I didn't realise how easy it was to exercise.

"Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it." Plato

A World of Options

Exercising does not have to be a grind. There are so many different types of sporting activities you can take part in. There are aggressive sports like boxing or rugby, or there are calming exercises, like yoga or tai chi, indoor or outdoor sports, lone wolf or pack sports. There are just so many options. Exercise doesn't always have to be competitive. You don't have to go to a gym full of posers and it doesn't have to be for anybody but yourself. It doesn't have to make you embarrassed or cost you the earth.

I don't like the artificial environment of gyms, or their membership fees, but I'm lucky that I enjoy running, since it's free for me to head down to my local park and do a couple of laps. I also bought a couple of kettlebells - I spent a total of £50 and now have a piece of equipment that allows me to work out in the privacy of my bedroom. You can find instructions for kettlebell exercises on the web and spend a quick half an hour in the evening toning up your flabby bits.

Get online and check out your local directory for sports clubs and see what's out there.

Motivations

I don't agree that everybody has to be a size 0 to be attractive and I don't agree with the kind of imagery the media uses to convey an idea of 'beauty'. Beauty is subjective. Exercising is not, for me, about getting stick thin. It is about having muscle tone, having power, strength and the stamina to run as far as I want to. It is about being a 'good animal'. I like the idea of showing off too; personally I am quite competitive. But each individual will have different motivations. For example, a colleague of mine spent a number of years in a physically abusive relationship - since breaking up with the guy and escaping the torment, she's taken up kick boxing and she's empowered by the knowledge that she would now be able to handle the threat of physical violence from a man (more on women's self-defence in the article 'Better Confidence').

The first step is to find something you might enjoy and give it a try. And if you don't enjoy it, don't worry, try something else. Mastering your body through exercise puts you back in touch with your physical self. Looking after your physical self means that you will be happier pscyhologically - your mind and body are connected and one affects the other. Things like the placebo effect prove that the power of the mind can play a large part in healing the body. So why shouldn't the body play a large part in healing the mind? Once you start taking control of your body, you realise you can take a lot more control in other areas of your life too. Of course there are things beyond your control, but the important thing is to realise that there are some things that aren't, including how you feel about yourself and your body.